Right Said Fred's Richard Fairbrass: Caring for my dying friend made me realise there is more to life than hit records
By Bonnie Estridge, Mail Online, 17th September 2011
A year ago this week Richard Fairbrass’s former partner Stuart Pantry died, aged 45. Ravaged by cancer, when Stuart’s body finally gave up he weighed just 7st. He had battled ill-health for almost a decade, first suffering a stroke in 2002, just a year after the couple separated.
‘We had a row . . . over I can’t remember what,’ says Richard, the flamboyant singer with pop group Right Said Fred. ‘I moved out of our house in West London and was in Brighton when Stuart called to say he’d lost the use of his right arm and leg.
‘He wanted to know if I could come and walk the dog. I rushed back and moved back in with him so I could look after him.’
The singer – whose I’m Too Sexy was a huge hit in 1991 – is softly spoken and tearful as he recalls Stuart’s decline. The couple had met in 1982. ‘We got on so well from the start,’ says Richard, 57.
‘Stuart was fantastically creative and was working for the BBC, creating glamorous hair and make-up looks for celebrities such as Zandra Rhodes and Jerry Hall. Then, Stuart was making the money, not me. I was a skint musician and he was the breadwinner. It was Stuart who lent me the money to finish recording I’m Too Sexy.’
After Stuart’s stroke, Richard became almost a full-time carer. ‘It was difficult at first,’ he says. ‘But with physiotherapy, Stuart improved enough to shower and get dressed on his own. I never let him see just how upset I was seeing him struggling, as he made such a great effort.
‘For the next five years, we got on well but it got to a point where Stuart felt he needed some independence without people fussing over him, so we found him a flat around the corner from the house where he coped fine, and I would visit him as often as I could.’
In 2008, however, Stuart’s health deteriorated. He had become unable to hold down food. At first it was put down to a stomach bug, then Richard noticed Stuart’s skin had a yellow tinge, as had the whites of his eyes. Their GP referred him to the Royal Marsden Hospital, where tests revealed he had liver cancer.
‘Doctors said the stroke had nothing to do with the cancer, but that it was quite advanced so he must have had it for a while,’ says Richard. ‘Chemotherapy appeared to be a viable option, which Stuart took in tablet form at home rather than by drip on a ward, taking a large dose once a day for two to three months.
‘He improved, and the tumour did not seem to have grown when he had his first check-up after the course of chemo. So we were hopeful he was in remission or that the tumour might shrink and disappear.’
But just before Christmas 2009, Stuart was given the bad news that the cancer had spread to his lungs. He was started on an aggressive course of chemotherapy.
Richard says: ‘Before, I had been able to help, simply cutting his hair when needed, taking him shopping and walking the dog, but his needs became far more demanding.
‘It was difficult as I was away working a lot – someone had to bring the money in. His sister Doreen was a great help but eventually I became his carer for most of the time. I never thought I’d be able to do it because it seemed so clinical – so at odds with the loving, fun relationship we had shared. At first I found it difficult coping with seeing to all his personal hygiene, and it was exhausting carrying him from one chair to another and getting him in the bath. Yet soon I found it natural and strangely rewarding, even though I was always worrying about him.’
Last summer, doctors said the severe pain in Stuart’s lower back was a sign the cancer had spread to his bones. Richard says: ‘Chemotherapy was no longer an option but he was given radiotherapy to try to keep the cancer at bay and reduce the pain in his back. He had six sessions over six or eight weeks.’
Stuart survived with cancer of the liver for three years after his diagnosis, but eventually succumbed on September 20 last year.
‘I had just flown back from a gig and, to my eternal regret, I missed him passing away by ten minutes,’ says Richard. ‘I know that I will for ever feel that I let him down. Stuart was determined to die at home and he did that, at least.’
Last month, the singer took part in the first Marsden March, to raise money for the Royal Marsden Hospital where Stuart was treated.
‘I see life from a different perspective now,’ he says. ‘I can’t get excited about having hit records any more, it seems so trivial in comparison. I lost my best friend and I miss him every day. All I can be thankful for is that I was able to be with him when he needed it.’
